Because you're worth it

This morning in church, our pastor talked about the parable of the loaves and the fishes. The one where Jesus tries to take some time off but everyone follows him so he talks all day and eventually the disciples say, "Jesus, man, folks are hungry. Let's let everyone leave and go get some food." Jesus says, "Oh no problem! Disciples, give the people food" The disciples reply, "Hold on! All we have are five loaves of bread and two fishes! How can we feed all of them??" And Jesus says, "Guys! It's cool. Just bring me whatever you've got and I'll make it work." And then he feeds 5,000 men, not to mention the women and children (and somehow, they are not often mentioned....)

I've been going to church since I was two years old which means that I know a lot of the Bible stories by heart, even some of the more obscure ones. I was a lamb in the Christmas pageant. I helped act out the miracle of Easter every year at the sunrise service with the youth group. In the realm of the more obscure, one summer I acted out the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace as part of summer Sunday school. My knowledge of Biblical stories is extremely useful in crossword puzzles and when reading any of the classics of western literature.

The disadvantage to learning a lot of biblical stories by heart when you're a little kid is that you don't always think more deeply about them as you get older. When pastor read this story I automatically thought to myself, "oh yeah, miracle of the loaves and fishes. I got this one: Jesus turns a measly five loaves and two puny fishes into a feast complete with leftovers. Love it. Jesus is awesome. Son of God powers for the win. End of story." Nope, turns out there is a lot more to it.

Pastor talked about how the real miracle is that the disciples had so little to offer and yet Jesus said, "Give me whatever you've got, and I'll make it work. In fact I'll make it amazing." That's a pretty cool message, one that we need to hear more often. In this world we're often told we're not good enough. Anyone who has applied to college, tried out for a team, interviewed for a job, auditioned for a play, tried to join any sort of selective club, applied for a grant, or pretty much anything else, has likely received rejection at some point. Rejection bites. Someone literally tells you, you aren't good enough, you don't have what they're looking for.

Even American advertising relies on the premise that you are not good enough on your own: you really need their product in order to be worth something. Just get a black North Face fleece, some GAP jeans and that 52 inch flat-screen, HDTV and that might make you worth something. The L'Oreal slogan literally tells us to buy their products "because you're worth it".
 
 Translation: "if you don't buy L'Oreal, you must not be worth it".


Hehe...

It's nerve-wracking to prepare for a year of service and wonder if you have what you need. I'm not talking about the packing list. I'm talking about me. Do I have the skills necessary to help? Do I have the training to be useful there? Is what I have enough? The story of the loaves and fishes says, "Yes. Absolutely. What you have is enough." God can use whatever we have to make miracles. So even if all you have is a smile or a couple fish subs, that's enough. You, just you, on your own without any fancy Iphone aps or special clothes. You are good enough. Whatever you have is good enough because you really are worth it. Now that is awesome.

The Help

I recently finished Kathryn Stockett's novel, The Help (Berkeley Publishing Group, 2009). It's a beautiful novel, the type that makes you laugh out loud, cry a little and feel warm in your heart. It's a glimpse into what the life of an African American maid working for upper-middle-class white women in the south in 1962 might have been like. Aside from being a great read, it was also a good reminder about the racial problems of my country.

I tend to forget that the African-American civil rights movement was in the 1960's, only 50 years ago. Reading about it in a high school history book made it seem very long ago indeed, but when I think about the fact that both of my parents vividly remember the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr.... it's really not so long ago. Only one generation.

Likewise, the end of the Civil Rights Movement in no way ended the problems with racial segregation and discrimination in the USA. One need only examine the race statistics for education, income, homelessness, incarceration and the like to know that discrimination, segregation and other problems between races still exist.

This novel is a good reminder about the problems of my own country, as I prepare to leave for a country with conflict between races. Although the USA does not have a literal, physical wall separating groups (at least, as far as I know...), it has plenty of its own problems to consider.

Harry Potter and I are both moving forward

Last night I attended the midnight showing of the final installment of the epic Harry Potter movie series. It was bittersweet because Harry and I literally grew up together, right down to our late July birthdays, and now we're both moving on to new things.

I was introduced to the series when my friends banded together to give me books 1 and 2 for my tenth birthday. This lucky happenstance means that the first time I read each book I was nearly the same age as Harry. (It was kind of J.K. Rowling to wait a little bit between each of the later books so that I was mature enough for them and so that I could catch up with Harry in age as the later books were published). From the first book, I was hooked. From then on my family and I had the books pre-ordered online and ready to be delivered to my home the day they were released. I first read each one in a marathon-style blur within days of their release.

In 2001, when the first movie came out, I quickly learned that Daniel Radcliffe is exactly two days younger than me. As each book and movie became more mature and complicated, I likewise grew older and more mature. The seventh book came out on my 18th birthday. Pretty cool!

It therefore seems appropriate that the final movie in the series should come out shortly after I finish my final year of college. Harry and I have now both finished our undergraduate studies and are moving on to new phases in our lives. It is a time of change and transition. A liminal phase, my anthropology friends would say.

Liminal stages are exciting because they come before something new, but they are also bittersweet since they come after the end of something else. The end of anything, be it college, the Harry Potter movies or relationships, is hard. Change is hard. It's good for us I suppose and it seems to be the staple of the 20-something years from what I can tell so far, but it is none-the-less challenging.

There is a scene in the new movie (WHOA! SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't read the book or seen the movie yet, tread with caution!) where Neville proclaims to the crowd that even if Harry has died, he isn't really gone. He goes on in their hearts because he means so much to them. This is a comforting thing to hear during this change-filled, liminal phase of my life right now. While some relationships have ended, I'm an alumnus instead of a college student and Harry Potter is a grown up giving his children unbelievably cheesy names, all these previous phases are still near and dear to my heart.

Banksy and the Armored Dove

I had the great opportunity recently to meet with a woman from my church who just returned from the West Bank where she was doing work with a peacekeeping organization. She, like everyone I know who has been to Israel/Palestine, came back quite moved by the experience. Along with helpful tips, restaurant recommendations and a couple books to borrow, she gave me the advice to look up Banksy online. Having never heard of Banksy, I was curious to see what she was talking about. I discovered that Banksy is a graffiti artist whose works of street art are not only incredible in their detail, but also controversial and thought-provoking. He seems to be primarily based in England but has traveled to the West Bank and done work on the walls there.  Goodness knows there are plenty of walls in Israel/Palestine...

As I looked through various galleries of Banksy's art (if you're interested, look up http://www.banksy.co.uk/menu.html), I was struck by one image in particular, The Armored Dove.

I have always loved the image of the dove of peace. In the Bible a dove plays a central role in the hope that comes after Noah and the Flood. Additionally, the Spirit of God appears "descending like a dove" and "alighting" upon Jesus after his baptism (Matthew 3:16). Artists, poets and authors have likewise made excellent use of this lovely imagery.

 Picasso's "Dove with Olive Branch (1961)".

The dove of peace is a beautiful symbol, not only of God's love for human beings but of the way in which human beings ought to, and can, love one another and the earth, in peace. I would argue that it is because I hold dearly to the image of the dove that I am so fascinated by Banksy's take on the image.

Perhaps fascinated is not the right word. I am equal parts appalled and intrigued by the image of a dove with olive branch in hand (well, beak...) that is forced to wear protective armor and even so finds itself in the sites of a weapon. Clearly beloved peace is endangered by human conflict. Nonetheless, I think this is still a hopeful symbol. This image points out the state of things as they are now, but believes in a further shore. Hopefully, if the dove of peace is sent out, someday she will come back with an olive branch and the hope of peaceful shores ahead.

And they'll know we are Christians by our love...

This morning in church, we sang a beloved hymn which says that, "they will know we are Christians by our love". As we sang this song, I thought about the packing list I received this past week. I love packing lists. They are a little piece of organization and preparation in the midst of all the unknowns of a new adventure. Although much remains to be seen about the coming year, thanks to my new packing list I do know that I will need a travel alarm clock, a few favorite holiday recipes and warm clothes. Furthermore, the packing information contained a book list! Since this is the first year in 17 years that I will not be a full-time student, I'm glad that I still have a book list! Along with these standard items, the list includes tips to dress conservatively, make a good first impression and avoid being confused for Israeli settlers.

I must sigh at the inevitability that one is judged by one's appearance and clothes. Human beings in general, and women in particular, are far too often judged solely by their appearance, a sad fact which is unfair to everyone; those who (through luck, wealth or incredible hard work) manage to uphold the strict, unforgiving and ever-changing fashions of beauty and even more so to those who do not manage this gargantuan feat. Never-mind that one's appearance says absolutely nothing about the actual content of one's character (hopefully you notice the deliberate reference to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.). For me, in the coming year, the normal importance of correct dress will be increased by the fact that I am unfamiliar with local customs, that it is likely I will stick out in a crowd and the fact that I must be perceived as a good ambassador for everything which I represent in the coming year; the ELCA, the United States, Women, Young Adults, the United Methodist Church, the YAGM program, my hometown, my college, etc. Dressing to make a good impression will be key.

That being said, I really hope that I will also be judged by the content of my character and that others will take the chance to learn that I'm a Christian by my love. Likewise, this hymn serves as a reminder to me that I must judge those I meet not by their appearance and dress but by their actions. Even in judging actions I must be careful since I will be amidst unfamiliar customs. Basically, I hope that I will not judge based on appearances and that in return I will not be judged too quickly. Despite what popular culture says, one's love is shown through actions and not through clothes.